The Devil’s Political Dictionary

Some useful definitions of important political concepts:

  • Apathy – From the Greek for “without feeling”. In politics, a state of numbness induced in otherwise healthy voters by excessive exposure to political campaigning.

  • Cynicism – In ancient Greek philosophy, a school of thought with a focus on living virtuously. Therefore followers of cynicism tend to recoil from most forms of politics.

  • Democracy – Government of the people, by the people, for the people. Generally speaking, one out of three ain’t bad.

  • Election – An inspiring process in which the people freely and peacefully choose which incompetent charlatan will get the blame for everything that goes wrong in the nation over the next several years.

  • Party – An informal gathering of miscellaneous people, often involving drinking, drugs and sex. Social norms of sober and responsible behavior don’t apply to parties. The most popular parties are usually those that are completely lacking in adult supervision.

  • Power – All power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely. Therefore to avoid corrupting the innocent, it is normally best if power is given to those who were already corrupt.

  • Voter – In a democracy, politicians ultimately answer to voters. A typical example of the kind of question that they answer is: “Who the frak are you, and why are you trying to kiss my baby?”

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